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“Self-care is not selfish or self-indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, then we can give from our surplus, our abundance.” –Jennifer Louden   When you think of self-care, what comes to mind? Does that thought sound good, or do you cringe at the thought, since this would be selfish? Most people that I helped over the years felt as though they would be selfish if they took great care of themselves. There is nothing selfish about taking care of yourself. This is necessary in order to take care of others. What do you do for yourself each day? How are you making yourself a priority? If this isn’t happening, then what do you need to delegate, so that you make yourself a priority? Do you schedule time for extreme self-care on your calendar at least once a month? If you feel guilt for putting your needs first, remember that the more you give to yourself, the more you will have to give to others. Many people that I helped over the years did not believe what I am telling you until they started to notice that the more they gave to themselves, the more they were able to give to others in meaningful ways. As a result, their relationships were much healthier and more fulfilling. Take action each day toward self-care and get ready to enjoy life and your relationships more than ever! The truth is, in order to be happy and peaceful, extreme self-care is a must! For some, a day of extreme self-care may include: eating well, exercising, reading for twenty minutes, and meditating. For others, their day may include: a walk by the beach, doing something fun, eating well, and watching a good movie at night. Take five minutes to write your answers to these questions: If you were to give yourself a day of extreme self-care, how would you spend the day? If you were to create a daily lifestyle of extreme self-care, what would you do for yourself every day?   Good! Now you some new goals that you can work toward! Begin today to practice extreme self-care! You deserve to treat yourself very well, at all times!

“I think that success is having fun.” —Bruno Mars In order to live an extraordinary life, it is a must to have fun! When you were a child, you enjoyed having fun. Perhaps this was something that you experienced quite often. As you got older, you may have had too many responsibilities that took priority over having fun. Life can feel dull and like a burden when there is all work and no play. Life does not have to be this way, if you simply make time to have fun. Is having fun a priority for you during your free time? If not, you can begin today to make this a priority. When was the last time you had fun? What were you doing? If you are not sure what is fun for you, then try new things. Just last week, I went to my first professional football game. I am not into football; however, since I tend to love anything live, I decided to give it a try. I had so much fun going to that game! Hearing a crowd of over 75, 000 people root for their favorite team was a new experience for me, which I greatly enjoyed. I never would have guessed that I would have had so much fun being at a football game when I don’t even follow that sport.   “Just keep taking chances and having fun.” —Garth Bro   Why not try something new over the next few weeks that may be fun for you? What would you like to try? Follow your gut when making this decision. If something intuitively does not feel intuitively right to you, then choose something that does. Just recently, I was invited to an adult Halloween party. Even though it was a nice invitation, this does not feel intuitively right to me, so I declined the offer. The fun you experience needs to be positive and feel intuitively right to you. If you are unsure of how to listen to your intuition, then you may benefit from reading my blog called Listening to Your Intuition. How would you feel if you had something to look forward to each week that greatly added to your life? Take time right now to schedule something that will be fun for you. You are meant to live an extraordinary life filled with fun! Give this gift to yourself!

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” –Lucille Ball   Over the past eighteen years, I have counseled many people who were related to someone who were very fortunate and had everything: good health, a wonderful spouse, great children, and they wanted for absolutely nothing and yet they were miserable. Every time I heard one of these stories, I was baffled, especially after returned home from my trip to India years ago. When I was in India, I witnessed a mother brush her teeth and bathe her son in sewer water. After seeing what true misery looked like, I thought that it was a shame that all those fortunate people that I heard about over the years had to do was heal some wounds and learn how to love themselves. If they did that, then they could have fully enjoyed the good in their lives. Maybe they would have even helped those who were less fortunate, which would have added to their lives even more. The real key to being happy no matter where you are in life is to truly love yourself. When you master this, you will take excellent care of yourself, make good choices, and no longer accept any form of mistreatment. You will pursue your heart’s desires and greatly appreciate your life. The first step toward learning how to love yourself is being willing to do so. If you are not willing to work toward loving yourself, then keep in mind that if you do not have self-love, then you will not be able to love others. We only can give what we have! Also, it is not possible to be happy without self-love. “I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don’t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?” –Shailene Woodley   When was the last time you treated yourself exceptionally well, where you were kind and loving to yourself? Perhaps this is new for you. You may be like me, your parents did not model anything about self-love and they did not teach you how to treat yourself well. If so, this certainly can be learned, regardless of how old you are today! I have counseled many people who were never taught anything about self-love and now in their fifties, sixties, and seventies, they are enjoying the incredible results from recently learning how to love themselves. I even counseled an eight-four year old woman who for the first time learned how to say no and treat herself very well! It is never too late! Make a commitment today to start loving yourself, so you can start this new, rewarding journey.

“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes  and move on.“ –Les Brown Are you struggling to feel better about yourself after you made some mistakes?  You are not alone! We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. There are people in your life who would be humiliated if you knew about some of their mistakes. No one is thrilled to have made poor choices that cause pain for themselves or others. You cannot undo the past; however you can learn from your experiences and make better choices today. In order to feel great about yourself, you need to forgive yourself for your mistakes and move forward. How Do You Forgive Yourself? STEP 1: The first step toward forgiveness is to be more willing to forgive. If you are not willing, nothing will change. Repeat to yourself, “I am willing to forgive myself for my mistakes.” STEP 2: Once you are ready for the next step, begin to say, “I forgive myself for past mistakes and I set myself free.” Moving On With Your Life When you are at peace with yourself for your past mistakes, then you will have achieved the ultimate goal of forgiveness. “Forgiveness is not a one-time-only event. It is a process.” —Rhonda Britten Read Next: If you enjoyed this post, read, Why You Need to Love Yourself for True Happiness and learn how to stop listening to that negative voice inside that says you are not worthy and have nothing to offer.

Be Your Own Best Friend Do you treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend? In order to fully love yourself, you need to be a best friend to yourself by treating precious you well every day. If your best friend was going through a difficult time you would be there for this friend by being supportive, loving and kind. It is imperative that you support yourself by being loving and kind at all times. If your best friend was feeling down, you would say encouraging things to help her/him feel better. If your best friend was upset, you would be there for her/him emotionally. The inspirational speaker, Michael Eisen, wrote a post, Become Your Own Best Friend for the website, Positively Positive, about being his own best friend. He realized, “the most wonderful thing about learning to become my own best friend was how it opened up my heart to welcome a deeper connection with others. I feel I am now able to truly treat other people the way that THEY want to be treated, and as a result that same love, kindness, and respect flows right back to me!”   “One is rated by others as he rates himself.” –French Proverb   Each day ask yourself, “Am I treating myself as well as I would treat my best friend?” If not work hard until you treat yourself very well. Check out the post, Nurture Yourself, and find out the many ways you can take care of yourself to feel good.

It is easy to get overwhelmed when you have too much going on in your life or when you are doing something you simply do not enjoy. We all have something we don’t like to do from time to time. To avoid becoming overwhelmed the solution is to break things down into manageable parts. If you have six bills that need to be paid, why not write three checks, take a break, then write the three other checks to avoid the feeling of being overwhelmed? Reward yourself after you write all the checks by doing something you enjoy for half an hour. If you have to do chores around your house, do chores for an hour, take a break, then resume for another hour. After your second hour is up, reward yourself by doing something you enjoy for half an hour. Break Tasks Down to Manageable Parts When You Want to Avoid The Feeling of Overwhelmed What overwhelms you? How can you break tasks down into manageable parts? How are you going to reward yourself after you complete each step in this process? You may tell yourself that you cannot break things down into manageable parts and that you should just get the unpleasant task over with. If something continues to overwhelm you and you do not break it down into manageable parts when you can, then you are emotionally abusing yourself. Life is not meant to be overwhelming. It is meant to be fully enjoyed. If you hold your breath for too long and do not give yourself a break between each breath, your face will turn purple and you will feel terrible. When you break things down into small parts and give yourself a break you will be able to breathe easily, without feeling bad. You will be able to move through the process gently and avoid overwhelming feeling. If you found this post helpful to avoid overwhelming feeling, read, How to Deal with Stress and discover things you can do in ten minutes to bring your stress level down.  

Welcome the new year by embracing the power of positive thinking. It’s time to toss away negative, unhealthy thoughts. You don’t need to carry this baggage into another year. Treat yourself right! Make this healthy resolution a goal. I’ll show you an effective technique that will help you change your thinking around for the better. Stop Negative Self-Talk with Mirror Work The best way to get rid of negative self-talk and to feel good about yourself is a technique called mirror work. I will guide you through the easy steps of this process. First make two columns on a piece of paper. Write down the negative thoughts and beliefs that you have about yourself on the left side of the paper. Then on the right side, write the exact opposite. If on the left side, you say  “I am worthless,” then on the right side write, “I am valuable.” These will be your affirmations. After you complete your list, take your first three affirmations and say them to yourself in the mirror. Do this as often as possible throughout the day. Once you believe what you are saying, move to the next item on the list. Give it a try! This technique is an incredible way to erase those old nasty tapes you acquired throughout your life and keep playing in your head. Those negative beliefs will only block you from positive thoughts about yourself. Positive thinking also can have major benefits for your health. Read, What is Positive Thinking, to discover what the Mayo Clinic has to say about the wide range of benefits linked to positive thinking, including longer life span. Positive Thinking: Repeat Your Affirmations Daily! If you do mirror work for a couple of months, while repeating your positive affirmations daily, you will begin to believe in the new messages. Mirror work is a gift only you can give yourself. Positive thinking will change your life for the better! If you enjoyed this post, check out Celebrate Yourself and find out how you can focus on the positives in your life to experience greater joy and peace.

Wouldn’t it be nice to live a life without anxiety? Today, I’ll show you 33 proven ways to reduce your anxiety and cope with difficult situations. This post, 33 Ways to Deal With Anxiety, originally appeared in May 2013. In the next couple months I’d like to reshare some of the blog’s more popular posts. My goal is to help you live a happier and fuller life. 33 Ways to Deal With Anxiety We all can benefit from learning ways to deal with anxiety. This is especially evident when you step out of your comfort zone and it stirs up that negative feeling. Another example might be how a great majority of people get anxious when they go on an airplane or if they speak in front of an audience. We all wish this feeling would completely disappear. But often it doesn’t.  Whether you have mild or severe anxiety, there are many things you can do to decrease this as much as possible and live an anxiety free life. Below is a list of thirty-three effective ways to deal with anxiety that I teach my patients. After many of my patients master this list, their anxiety is almost entirely gone.  Take the example of one thirty-two-year-old woman that I counseled who had so much anxiety that it kept her from dating. She was also barely able to work and function. As we worked together, her anxiety began to decrease and she was no longer terrified each day that she was going to run someone over with her car. Once her anxiety greatly decreased and she was feeling good, I encouraged her to start dating. She was nervous to start dating; however, she took action and began online dating. Sure enough, she immediately connected with the love of her life. She is now happily married and doing fantastic! She knows how to keep her anxiety under control and is no longer afraid of anything. If this list could work for her, and many of my other patients, then it can work for you as well.   To begin, circle everything that you are currently doing on the list. Then pick one thing that you did not circle and begin doing that today. Once you master that one thing, pick something else that you can master. Keep doing this until you are doing everything on this list. Be patient with yourself.  It does not matter how long it takes. Just take one baby step at a time toward decreasing your anxiety. The more you do these things, the more you will be able to enjoy your life without anxiety and be at peace. (Please check with your doctor to rule out whether or not your anxiety is health related. If so, this needs to be addressed first). Live An Anxiety Free Life | Thirty-Three Ways to Deal with Anxiety: Keep your thoughts positive. Whenever you ask yourself a “what if” question, tell yourself “Stop It.” Stay focused on the moment. Write your thoughts and feelings in a journal. De-stress often to live an anxiety free life. Rate your stress from one to ten each day. When your stress is more than a six, immediately de-stress. Exercise at least four days a week. (Talk to you doctor about finding an exercise program that is right for you). Eat Well. Avoid caffeine and sugar. Limit your intake of alcohol (With high anxiety, it is best not to drink alcohol at all.) Stretch for ten minutes a day. Meditate to reduce anxiety. Do deep breathing (Slowly Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.) Take time to rest every day. Be kind to yourself at all times. Set boundaries. Set limits on the amount of time you spend with someone who is draining. Say no when something is not right for you. Stop people-pleasing. Break things down into manageable parts. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself in every situation. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Work through unresolved feelings/situations. Do things that add joy to your life. Listen to soothing music. Put yourself in nature. Visualize what you want for five minutes a day. Ask for what you want. Let other people help you. Delegate whenever you can. Put limits on how much you give. Be your own best friend. A great way to stay motivated with accomplishing the goal of mastering this list is to reward yourself every time you succeed with doing one thing. What are some ways that you can reward yourself? Perhaps a relaxing bath or watching a good movie will be a good reward. You also need to reward yourself once you master the entire list. How are you going to ultimately reward yourself? This reward needs to be a big reward. Maybe you can treat yourself to a massage or go away for the weekend. Be sure that this reward excites you! Warmest, Norma Campbell

Praise yourself everyday! You deserve to give yourself a big hand. I’ll show you why it’s important to take care of yourself this way. Plus, I’ll give you tips and guidance on how to start this transformational healing practice today! This post originally appeared in August 2013. In the next couple months I’d like to reshare some of the blog’s more popular posts. My goal is to help you live a happier and fuller life.  Most of us are taught that it is not good to praise yourself, since it leads to arrogance. Quietly praising yourself is not arrogant. In fact, it is healthy to praise yourself. When you are working toward a goal, what you tell yourself determines whether you succeed or not. For example, if you have the goal of losing thirty pounds and you say to yourself, “Big deal, I only lost one pound this week,” this type of thinking can stop you from moving forward and achieving success. If you say, “Wow! I am so proud of myself for losing a pound this week,” this will keep you motivated as you work toward losing the weight. How often do you praise yourself? If you are like most people, you don’t. A key ingredient to boost your self esteem is to praise yourself often. It is best to internally praise yourself. Praising yourself out loud in front of others will only make them feel uncomfortable. Instead when you do something well, you can praise yourself out loud when no one is around or just think to yourself, “I did a great job. I am proud of myself for exercising today when I certainly did not feel like it.” “Wow! I did it! I accomplished that goal. I am proud of myself for doing that!” “Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it.” –Jess Lair If praising yourself is new to you, this will be uncomfortable at first. Okay, so be uncomfortable until this becomes your new habit! What are you proud of yourself for? Are you a good friend? Have you accomplished one of your goals? What have you done well over the past six months? Take a few minutes right now to praise yourself for three things. Get in the habit of praising yourself each day, even if you find you are saying the same thing. Your new habit can powerfully transform your life by motivating you to accomplish all your goals! If you enjoyed this post, check out “Celebrate Yourself,” to see how you can live an extraordinary life!

“I trust the ebb and flow of the universe. I trust that life’s bigger than what I can see. I trust that there is a divine order beyond my control. And I trust that no matter what happens, I will be all right.” —Oprah Winfrey Life can be full of worries. However if you learn to surrender your problems to the universe, you’ll find your life will be more positive and satisfying. This post originally appeared in September 2013. In the next couple months I’d like to reshare some of the blog’s more popular posts. Most of us have gone through an upsetting situation, without knowing the outcome. These situations often make us feel anxious. To make our internal struggle manageable, we need to let go and trust the universe. Worrying about a situation serves no purpose. Letting go after we do everything we can possibly do is the answer. When we let go, we are saying to the universe, “Okay, I trust that the outcome is going to be for my highest good and I will get through this situation.” Letting go of your stress, anxiety, bad feelings, worrying, and keeping your thoughts positive, and trusting the outcome will free you from stress, anxiety, and inner turmoil. Before you let go of stress, anxiety, worrying, and bad feelings it may be beneficial to process your unpleasant feelings. If not, your feelings are likely to resurface. Then you will want to take back what you just let go. I see this very often with my patients. Try this quick visualization that will help you to get rid of stress, worrying, and unpleasant feelings. Sit or lie in a comfortable place where you can keep your eyes closed for ten minutes. See yourself walking down a flight of stairs. At the bottom of the steps is the situation that you are facing. Once you are at the bottom of the steps, give yourself permission to fully express how you currently feel. Allow yourself to process ALL of your feelings. Do this without judging yourself. Once you fully express your feelings, begin walking back up the steps. Then see a hose going down to the middle of the earth that is connected to your feet. Healing energy in the form of various colors is coming through the hose and going in your body. Take in as much of the healing energy as you need. Now surround your whole body with white light. Immerse yourself in this light for a few minutes. When you are ready, open your eyes. After you do this visualization, you will feel more peaceful. At this point, tell yourself, “I am trusting that the Universe will take care of this situation and that the outcome will be for my highest good.” Take a few minutes to think about an upsetting situation in the past, where the outcome was different than what you originally wanted, and now you are so grateful for that outcome. Even if you are going through a difficult situation, in the future when you look back at the outcome, you will see it was for your highest good. Keep in mind that negative feelings are TEMPORARY! Let go and trust the universe!  “You can’t expect to prevent negative feelings altogether. And you can’t expect to experience positive feelings all the time. The Law of Emotional Choice directs us to acknowledge our feelings but also to refuse to get stuck in the negative ones.” –Greg Anderson If you found this post helpful to let go of anxiety and worry to trust the universe, take a look at Listening to Your Intuition, and learn how to trust yourself and stand up for yourself, without allowing anyone to convince you what you are thinking, feeling, or doing is wrong.